Lazy Mountain Hike


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I’m training for the Sawtooth Relay, so I’m hiking for elevation gain. We attempted hiking The Butte, but there were so many people there that we did not park – instead left, pulled over onto another street and googled other hikes in the area. Google suggested Lazy Mountain, so got to see and hike a whole new area and one that I like better than The Butte. ¬†We did not do the Lazy Mountain hike, but instead took the easier way – the Morgan Horse Loop – lots of horse poop, but most of it was dry. Afterwards, we met Mom & Dad, and Carol, at the DQ in Palmer ūüôā Fun day!

Difficulty: Easy

Distance: 2 miles

Elevation Gain: less than 500 feet


Last Run: December 28, 2016 at 8:10 PM


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I have not been running in almost two months. My left foot started to kill me after weeks of training on the dreadmill.¬†I had hired Lisa in October-ish to help me get faster, stronger, thinner, and I was doing great until the foot pain. I told Lisa about it before I started my January training sessions and she told me to immediately stop training and see my doctor. I told her about it because I was concerned that I could not bend my toes on my left food, and I felt like I might have a broken toe or something (yeah, I’ve never had a broken bone in my body, but I equated the pain to something being broken). ¬†Lisa told me I needed an x-ray and a good physical to make sure nothing was wrong. The x-rays showed an excellent left foot with no issues, including absolutely NO arthritis (ha!,¬†to all you anti-running peoples!!).

Anyway, GP sent me to podiatry, podiatry gave me inserts, chiropractor wants me to get new inserts, massage therapist said stretch, rest and continue seeing her, but I’m going to see a Jeff/PT¬†this coming Friday. ¬†I’ll probably do a combo of everything just so I can get this healed. Anway: PT was prompted when I saw a #metatarsalgia dry-needling post on Instagram.

I asked around to see if anybody had had dry-needling in Anchorage but nobody I know has, so I Googled it. I sent a message to PT tonight and received a telephone call back right away! I’m going in Friday morning to get a full assessment and see what they can do to fix my painful left foot.


Excess pressure on your forefoot can cause pain and inflammation in your metatarsals ‚ÄĒ the long bones in the front of your feet, just below your toes.

It’s not that I’ve hated being off running for the last two months, in fact, it’s quite the contrary, well, in a complicated way! Kind of in that love/hate running way that I subscribe to most days.

I’ve ¬†enjoyed sitting around, watching movies, playing with my bullet journal, making lots of food (like way too much food), hanging out with my family and spending most of my time inside the house. My nights feel really long after work, especially since I’m not spending 1.5-2 hours in the woods, hot tub, cleaning up, running, etc. (um, duh!).

DOWNSIDE: there is the whole weight gain crap going on, lots of yucky urges to eat crap, never feeling full, always craving junk food, feeling sluggish all day long, and overall boredom. On top of all that yucky stuff, I’ve spent a lot of time watching movies … I’ve even watched some TV. OK, maybe one TV show, but that’s really bad considering I am not a TV watcher, and I have never been somebody who watches TV – but I can see why our culture is so fat, lazy, voted for Trump, and so boring. ¬†TV is really the pits. It does nothing good for the brain (OK, PBS and documentaries do!).

UPSIDE: I’ve read a bunch of books so far, so it hasn’t all been bad. I’m not certain I’m actually reading less this year, though, so I cannot actually say that not running has made me read more. Part of this year’s goals is to read more thoroughly and deeply, too so I might not meet my goal of 70 books for 2017. We’ll see in a few more months though.

You have read 11 of 70 books in 2017.
    • Your 2017 Challenge Books

Date Read

  • Singletasking by Devora Zack
  • The Sun Is Also a Star by Nicola Yoon
  • 1984 by George Orwell
  • The Nix by Nathan  Hill
  • But I Could Never Go Vegan! by Kristy Turner
  • The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah
  • The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead
  • Ongoingness by Sarah Manguso
  • Mediterranean Diet by Carla Ray
  • Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng

Anyway, I need to get this metatarsalgia sorted out. I cannot continue sitting around. I need to train for the Sawtooth Relay. There’s only so much my fat tire bike can do for me, and it is not running. Plus, it really is not the same feeling I get as when I run.

Oh, and excitingly, I quit taking Prozac¬†and I’m feeling pretty good. My last day was 2/9/2017 but I’m not feeling weird like in the past. I think I did a slow enough taper that I’m going to avoid antidepressant discontinuation syndrome, which really does suck when it happens, and it’s very scary – even as bad, or worse, than a panic attack. Anyway, for now, I’m done taking these meds. I’ve spent years in treatment (what SSRI haven’t I tried?), counseling, EMDR, and almost every psychotherapy treatment out there. I need to learn to deal with it, even if that means going back to EMDR therapy. If all else fails, there’s the non-psychogenic CBD oils and cannabis, which my psychiatrist and I discussed, and, shockingly he’s OK with it. Plus, it’s legal in AK and always has been.

I’m actually a bit surprised at myself for not quitting all these meds after reading Prozac Diary in 2011!

In 1988, at age 26, Lauren Slater lived alone in a basement apartment in Cambridge, depressed, suicidal, unemployed. Ten years later, she is a psychologist running her own clinic, an award-winning writer, and happily married. The transformation in her life was brought about by Prozac. Prozac Diary is Lauren Slater’s incisive account of a life restored to productivity, creativity, and love. When she wakes up one morning and finds that her demons no longer have a hold on her, Slater struggles with the strange state of being well after a lifetime of craziness. Yet this is no hymn to a miracle pharmaceutical. It is a frankly ambivalent quest for the truth of self behind an ongoing reliance on a drug. Slater also addresses Prozac’s notorious “poop-out” effect and its devastating attack on her libido. This is the first memoir to reflect on long-term Prozac use, and reviewers agree that no one has written about Prozac with such beauty, honesty, and insight.

Whoa! I’m getting way off topic now: fingers crossed for good PT outcomes and fast healing!


48th Birthday Fun Day!

I planned a fun day for my 48th birthday: tubing at Arctic Valley with the family, then we stopped at Resolution Brewery for one game of cribbage, then went to dinner (with dessert) at Bear Tooth, and saw “Arrival.” It was a¬†lovely day with all my favorite things: family, beer, ¬†and movies!




Very Chill Christmas


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On Christmas Eve – we stopped at Cynasure¬†Brewing for some super yummy saison, then we headed over to Bob and MaryAnn’s and heard the $20 stories. Butch had the best story – taking a homeless guy out to lunch, and buying his dog dog food, dropping him off someplace. After that, we went then to Langs – where Jon was disappointed by the lack of care his parents have for him. It’s really sad, and never stops and it always makes me angry. We were home by 9:30pm¬†Christmas Eve then up by¬†8am Christmas Day.

We had one of the chillest Christmases ever. Lots of fire in the fireplace, reading, playing games and eating yummy food. It was wonderful and simple and everything Christmas should be. The girls left around 6pm to go over to Gustavo’s family’s house, so Jon and I were alone the rest of the evening.

Everybody received presents – although some were weirder than others … and we got two “joking hazards” which is funny. We still haven’t played it as of 2/2/2017 but it’s on the “sunday funday” list of things to do.





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Thanksgiving babies are so much fun – especially when they’re as amazing as G! ¬†He’s the same weight as Madeleine was when she was born – I just don’t remember her that small. So not only did we have a baby to play with, but T lost his first front tooth. The girls made him watch Loose Ends, which they made with a Jon a few years ago, then they bugged him until he pulled the thing out. It was so cute!

We had a great Thanksgiving lunch, with NO political talk with amazing amounts of food – even stuff we didn’t make, even food I left in the oven (sweet potatoes hahaha), plus seven pies, gobs of of cookies and brownies and LOTS of leftovers sent home with Q’s and R&V. It was a bit crazy!

I am SO Thankful to be healthy, living a wonderful life, having two beautiful, smart and talented ladies in my house, and that I’m in¬†a good relationship with my husband. Life is really good! ūüôā

After everybody left, Pepper Ann, Mimi, and I took a short,¬† SLOW one-mile sunset walk to burn off the food. I didn’t overeat though, so I wasn’t really worried about calories, but instead interested in getting some fresh air and getting those crazy dogs some exercise. My face froze because it was only about 7 degrees when we walked over the icy trails.

This past Monday I started my Sawtooth Relay ¬†training prep via Lisa Keller, so I picked Thursday and Friday as¬†my lazy days: glass fusion classes on Thursdays and Fridays usually involve margaritas, Mexican food and art nights. Thanksgiving worked out perfectly for a lazy day because my legs have been sore from interval and pick-up training … which makes me realize that I’ve been a very lazy runner the last year and I’ve devolved by getting slower every month I run. Ha. That’s not happening now that I have a pretty robust training plan.

My¬†State furlough is over after today … my 15 hours will have been taken. The furlough has really¬†hit our¬†budget.



Bethel TAP Conference


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I spent three amazing days in Bethel for a TAP Conference. It was such good work, such strong¬†connections between the tribes and people, and I felt a huge connection to the work they’re doing. I need to figure out a way to get my career to align with the work that is happening with YK and AVCP¬†to feel better about what i do for the State.



Bethel, Alaska TAP Conference


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While I was coincidentally reading Laura Esquivel’s book “Pierced by the Sun,” it was extraordinary to see the similarities between what we were discussing in our¬†TAP Conference¬†echoing the same sentiments as Lupita discovers in this¬†book. Although very different cultures, simultaneously for both Mexican Indian and Alaska Natives, there is a¬†lack of connection to the traditions / old ways which disconnect the current tribe / individual from their culture.

It made me realize that this isn’t happening only¬†in the Arctic, but also around the world where phones, social media, TV, crooked news sources, crooked politicians, etc. have taken over, and infiltrated cultures. Some can say this is good for the cultures, but really, it’s a catch-22: some parts are good, but this disconnect and trauma from the change is a¬†detriment to the culture.

Lupita finds solace in the purity of indigenous traditions. While she learns how to live simply, like her ancestors, she comes to understand herself and rediscovers light within a dark life. And if there is hope for Lupita’s redemption, perhaps there is hope for Mexico.



Nancy Lake Cabin #4 for her 13th Birthday


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We didn’t die. We didn’t freeze (to death). And we had a super fun time at Nancy Lake. It was COLD and frosty, but a total blast. Food mostly consisted of candy and crap – all that a 13 year old wants on their birthday weekend, I suppose. ūüôā


Run and visits



I took Wednesday off work to help volunteer at Hiland Mountain during the women’s races: 5k, 10k and half marathon. Sarah ran the half so that was the reason I wanted to be there, plus being around all those awesome coaches was really lovely. The whole event was super ¬†inspiring and made my heart so happy. I wish I could have taken photos but cameras and phones are not permitted.

I visited Sarah again today, Sunday, and I think I’m going to go every other week. I met Dena too, which was lovely and we plan to figure out what Sarah wants for visits.

I got home and ran four miles and tried staying below my maximum heart rate, which feels so much better but I also feel like I’m not working hard enough. I had an EKG about a month ago (ripped my implant scar capsule falling down near point) so there’s nothing wrong with my heart, but my heart rate just goes crazy when I run — probably poor cardio shape? But I’ve been running for six years now … It’s confusing.

Darkness is seaping in. My effing Anxiety has increased. Memory issues have been tested and I was slightly below the norm – probably due to anxiety. I’ve asked for Medicines to be adjusted and I’ve asked for something my doctor is researching first.

My breast implants have been felt by my plastic surgeon and there’s nothing to do but let the scar tissue re-heal. It’s not like starting over at the beginning of the breast cancer / implant hell, but it caused enough anxiety that I had made up my mind to have them removed … Until I was told just to let it heal again.

Whole life challenge social media black out is rocking my world. I think I’m going to curb my addiction to Facebook by being present more often. I like this way of living.